Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Of Mice And Women

All night long I have stood vigil at the town house. Pausing only to remove an occasional bead of sweat from the Hallett brow. The cross hair in the sight of my Heckler and Koch PSG1 trained and unwavering. Two floors up in The Town house, I have a clear view of the intended killing field. My camo, the nets and Mel next doors owl providing impenetrable disguise from even the sharpest eye.
I have corrected for wind drift and range, but not even a leaf has twitched. Nothing has stirred. Not even a mouse.
Let me skip back twelve hours, dear reader, and explain. This is a tale of the inevitable consequence to the little man of the unthinking machinations of government from afar. In April we had the smoking ban. In a place like the Old Walled Town this introduces problems for the tobacco addict. There just aren’t that many spaces that aren’t enclosed or public. The devotee must seek out a corner and guard it jealously in order to ensure a fix.
Heap upon this indignity, the new recycling schemes that we all seem to have to endure. This places another premium upon the territory available to smokers. In the tainted corners that they seek are now, cheek by jowl as it were, overflows of ordure, offal and tins of dog food that really ought to have been rinsed a bit more carefully.
As well as the glowing coal of the end of the nicotine stick, the night time brings evil red eyes. Creatures attracted by the easy pickings. And they grow bold my precious.
Last night The Boy and I were engrossed by the flickering image of sixties Britain. Suddenly a piercing scream cut through the falling dusk like a dagger.
She Of The Town House has seen a hideous mutant, a giant squirrel rat like creature small mouse in the back yard.
It’s almost enough to make you want to give up!


Lori said...

Hi Meredic,

Thanks for stopping by my blog today! I'm afraid of mice too. I think the frog here might scare away the mouse though. :)

Sally Lomax said...

ED screams like that when she sees a moth! I sympathise!

Lady Fotherington-Smethers said...

Of Mice and Men is a great book. Not sure where the women come in to it although Curley's wife is a bit of a tart but she doesn't deserve to be killed.

On another note thanks for your advice about teaching. I am about 2 weeks away from finishing my teacher training course and have a job lined up for July. The biggest problem I have had being a student teacher is getting along with the other members of staff as some of them are very unfair and critical of me which is totally undeserved.

me said...

"Two floors up..." ??

were you nervous too?

Annie said...

Oh Meredic, it must be one trial after another for the smoker. I am sorry that you have to sneak around. It rather reminds me of my own efforts to smoke back when I was a kid and my father forebid it. He didn't make me quit - and I suppose this ban won't make you quit either. I did finally quit, but only because I started to worry about the health effects.

DaveM said...

We have Ollie the cat available for hire.

meredic said...

Lori - Welcome. Sounds like a pretty impressive frog.

Sally – I had a bat come in to my bedroom last year. I think it was after the moths….

Lady Fotherington – Smethers – Good luck being a teacher! The first two years are pretty tough. It’s a wonderful job though, and full of the unexpected. If you ever need a buck up then drop me a line. I have there thered many a probationer in my time… 

me – like I said I had to hide behind Mel Next Doors owl.

annie – Its not me that has to lurk in the back yard away from the mice. I gave up twenty odd years ago. Some of them very odd now that I think back….

davem - That’s a very kind offer. The trouble is Asbo. He has an over enthusiasm for cats which they just wont reciprocate.

And thank you all for commenting.

Richenda said...

Borrowed Kitty says that dogs are noisy and useless. If you will shoot the dog, she will deal with the mouse for you.

Sally Lomax said...

Now I would scream at the sight of a bat....

(Shudders at the thought..)

meredic said...

Richenda - shooting the dog seems unusually harsh for such a loyal fool.

Sally - really, they are very cute once you get to hold them ....