Friday, December 25, 2009

Ho Bloomin' Ho

Last year we caught him red pawed. Though strictly speaking it was The Axeman who was to blame.
The Christmas turkey from the excellent butcher was left out for the evening you see. Left outside in fact and covered on a garden table until morning. Then it was due to be turned into a pie. It was a frosty night and fridge space was at a premium by then. It seemed like a good plan.
Asbo eyed the proceeding with interest and must have been slightly disappointed to find his customary egress blocked by a hitherto unlocked door.
When a befuddled Axeman (the guitar playing elder son of She Of The Townhouse) finally staggered home from the pub, he found the poor creature doing the doggy version of crossing his legs. Taking pity, and having little appreciation of Asbo’s subterfuge, he released the door and propped it ajar so that natures call could be answered. With this good deed done he sloped of to a well earned inebriates rest.

So it was that the next day, a puzzled She Of The Townhouse surveyed the full dog and the remnant of a very expensive turkey being picked over by Mel Next Door’s Owl.
This year we have all learned our lesson. Food is being stashed well out of reach.

Last night Axeman came home from the City Of Light bearing lovely gifts, one of which comprised a selection of Asbo’s favourite chocolates. Intended of course as a festive treat for She Of The Townhouse. These he placed carefully under the tree.

This morning he was surprised to find a dog full of soft centres.

Some people never learn.....

Happy Christmas all.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Dietary Requirement

How unkind we were back then. Amused at Karla taking the same ham salad every day. To shy to ask outside this personal safe zone.
And now here I am. Every day I have the same cheese and pickle sandwich with trimmings. One banana, one orange, and an apple. Week in month out, year after year.
Mind you, every now and then, just so that I can feel that I am walking near the edge of the line, I have corned beef instead. I don’t tell anyone though.