Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Plot Thickens


“We need raised beds!”
I know better than to even raise an eyebrow when She Of The Townhouse is in such a dangerous frame of mind and so I continue to feign slumber. Even so a small part of me wonders what is wrong with the trusty old “Sleepmaster Deluxe”. I mean it has seen its share of adventure, may even bow in the middle slightly, but I can’t really see how more room underneath will help.
By the end of the day though things are clearer. Hallett’s Mountain is overwhelmed by every gardening book in the library and several from the junk shop. She is anxious to follow the Zeitgeist.
Its all about vegetables you see.
There has been a rash of feed yourself programs on the television and it seems that Hallett’s Mountain is about to join the ratings. Now these programs are all very well but between you and I there always seems to be a frame or two missing from the tale. The learned son of the soil decides on a succulent crop and bingo. Five minutes later full growth is achieved and everyone is feasting with friends. I just sense that somewhere in the background there is hard work being done over a medium to long term period.
I have looked at the unpromising patch of grassland in Cae Dan Ty that she has in mind and I can feel blisters rising sympathetically on the old palms.
And then you know what happened? You could have felled me with a brassica I can tell you. Groaning up the hill laden with soil, wood and men meaning business come She Of The Townhouse ‘s personal ‘Groundforce’ team.
In the space of two days an indetermined sum of money and half a dozen determined stout fellows have transformed an unpromising prospect in to a freshly minted (I have warned her about how fast the damn stuff spreads) fruit and veg garden.
I tell you, the girl in Aisle 13 is in for a nasty shock. Canned dogfood and beer next week and that’s her lot…….

Monday, April 13, 2009

Of course that was back when it was all fields round here.

Why I remember …….
……I remember back in the early sixties. I guess I would have been about five years old. My family had upped sticks from another place and we had washed up in the village of Swineford, my mother and father, along with three small children lost in a wilderness of cabbages that led down either side of the path to the river.
My sisters and I explored our new worlds of school, village life, a house with electricity in it, and the forbidden Avon which of course drew us like a magnet.
Readers all of us, taught much at home, one of the early adventures was a trip to the library.
Once a fortnight we climbed in to the old black car. Up out of the village past the Elm trees (how curious even the words seems now). We drove through Bitton with all its shops and factories. Back out in to the country of little dairy farms before we turned up Cherry Garden Hill. Getting to the outskirts of Oldland bear left up over the railway. Minutes later down Cowhorn Hill, golf course on the left and then through the estate of relatively new houses. Either way past the patch of green which I don’t recall being so, but even then may have been called Banjo Island, our 1950’s relic of a car pulled up and parked outside the library.
Coming in through what is now a side door I recall a counter that I can now look down on myself, towering over me. Populated by a staff that I was forced to regard as far more forbidding than I am sure they were, it was quite clear back then that the library was a place of almost religious respect in regard to peace and quiet. Any conversation beyond that door was to be conducted barely above a whisper.
Yet what a treat. What a joy. What adventure lay within. I think we were allowed three books each back then so between Melissa and I that meant we had six. Claire was only a baby. With those half dozen we were able to bring home Dr Zues, The Colour Kittens, Ant and Bee, Winnie the Pooh, The Red Bus, and an anthology of nursery rhyme. This latter from which our mother would sing us lullaby to sleep.
So, having chosen, we returned to the hushed desk and bore the echo of the stamp back to the car. Eager to explore the colours and words within our books. Negotiating rights on who got what first. Warned not to read while in motion lest we be sick, we bore our snatches of other world back to the village in which we grew.
You know, from those days, I am glad to say that the adventure that I found in books never left me. I stayed a member of that little library for the next dozen years I guess, until I followed the river Avon down to the Severn and out into my own life.
At first unconscious of the influences and then later increasingly following my own interests the library was able to reflect and steer my tastes from childhood to a young adult.
Using school and Jackanory as springboards I soaked up worlds of fact and fiction. I don’t think I was a ‘geeky’ kid but with less interest than some in football, I was infrequently more than arms length from something to read.
Unfashionable perhaps? I read all the Enid Blyton that I could lay my hands on. Jennings and Derbyshire. A story of a boy whose name I don’t remember now but whose body parts operated some kind of internal collective reasoning to steer his adventures. Professor Brainstorm. The Adventure series of Willard Price, an early one of these giving me a lifelong love of personal adventure in and under the sea. An increasing amount of science fiction, populated by Dan Dare heroes.
Alongside books of British birds. A guide to how to be a carpenter capable of building a modern magazine rack (templates included). The Look and Learn book of facts, invaluable for winning at school quizzes as I was ever able to set the questions. Patrick Moore introduced me to astronomy, another passion that has taken me through over forty years now. A book that showed me the rudiments of my mothers increasingly dodgy car allowed me to fix bits that nowadays I would leave to the RAC or scrap completely. Oh yes and the Atlas that I used to explore the area around Bordeaux where I would be placed for a month with my school exchange partner.
For most of the sixties and seventies that little library helped me explore the way.
Oh it wasn’t the only place of course. School was pretty good to me (I went to the version of Kingswood Grammar school that burned to the ground in 1977). My family encouraged me to be the first to ever go to university. Radio 4 led me far and abroad as I am sure it did many others. The mystery of girls as well.
The library at Cadbury Heath was then very important to me. I would like to salute all of you who have kept it open over the years. Never doubt that the work you do is immensely worthwhile. Influential as well. From a small child to the young adult. It helped shape me in many ways. Opening up places that knowledge and imagination leads. Showing me both the doors and the keys to others and allowing me to choose….
….ah yes, I remember when it was all fields round here.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Interior Desecrator



I am usually the one that looks on, ready to mock, but this time I have been made the unwitting victim.
It’s Asbo you see. A couple of years ago when just a pup really he discovered ‘Fang Shooey’. A study scarlet with rage, involving resizing the footwear belonging to She Of The Townhouse and others. The result left along ley lines connecting the back yard to the front door. Pieces of leather and plastic arranged for maximum canine harmony.
From this innocent beginning he has moved on and now regularly changes the covers on the sofa and the cushions so beloved. Changes them in the sense that you don’t recognise them afterwards, generally because the insides are now on the outside, the whole is a different shade that may or may not bear resemblance to the original, and of course damper than before. He has collected underwear since he devoured a scathing article on Tracy Emin’s Turner prize winner (he ignores her years of struggle of course) and has even been known to take the curtains down. Everything collected, along with the barely recognisable remains of the post, are day to day thrown all over The Townhouse floor.
Dropping in as I do from time to time, this has caused me no end of wry amusement.
Until today when the little git has sabotaged the sale of my old car.
A farmer, attracted by a turbo diesel bargain, to cross the Menaii Strait and journey on to the smiling man. The man that rubs his hands and promises his children new toys every time I go to the garage.
“Leave it on the forecourt Mike” why he calls me Mike I have no idea but I long ago gave up correcting him. “We’ll flog it for you”
For the first time in my ownership, the green gleam has been restored to the outside. The new look has been buffed on the inside. But you know what put off this weeks son of the soil?
Apparently it smells rather strongly of dog.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Neighbours


No one else seems to be up. As I look across the valley in the early morning. I am confronted by my neighbours house on the opposite side. I wonder if he looks out in the evening and wonders about me….

I apologise for the rather poor quality of the picture but I hope you enjoy the colour of the sky. The house I refer to is just to the left of the darker tree in the centre. It is oin a line just to the south of east from my house. Several miles across the Conwy valley from where I live but sometimes I catch a light on and daydream about somenone looking back at me.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

David Michael Garvie 1959 – 2006

Dave Michael Garvie 1959 2006
Once again the year has turned and my old friend is on my mind, and I am sure the mind of others.
I am aware of landmarks in my own life now that I am passing and that he never reached. I have been teaching far longer than he did now. I shall be 50 this year.
I don’t want to be maudlin in my remembrance though, because one thing is for certain. He would be laughing at me for it. He wanted to be remembered fondly by a generation, and then allowed to slip away.
I pass his house every now and then and see that others have taken it over. The George Garvie memorial jungle has been cleared and more light has been let in to the garden. More care is taken.
We used to detonate fire bombs of alarming capacity on the flat patch. Planning carefully, though with scant regard for risk assesment, and then placing them inside his compost bin. Waste gas canisters from mountain expedition, or petrol for a Coleman stove, used to send the lid soaring in to the trees. Mushroom clouds of smoke and burning fuel raining down upon our manic flight. Then, smokey eyed, we would slope off to the pub and put the world to rights until we could barley stand.
Tonight we will sit outside my house and share a beer old friend. And if the sky is clear I’ll get the telescope out and we can count the stars.
God bless Dave.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Resolute?


I don’t know quite what it is but suddenly this week I have become conscious of the fact that I am chasing down fifty, the wrong side of 1000N in weight and pretty unfit unless you count the ability to shuffle.
After passing out in front of the TV twice I made a decisive decision! Something had to change. I have never been a fan of the pointless run but…..
“I just want a pair of running shoes”, I smiled at the girl in the shop. “No brand names mind, I expect this to be a fad that lasts for about a fortnight”.
After rebuffing her attempt to flog me a pair of impact resistant socks I fled before anyone I used to teach recognised my rotundity.
So.
Tonight it’s different.
Instead of passing out in front of the TV you know what I did?
Yep.
Passed out in front of the TV and a pair of new running shoes.
Today my medium length dog walk took 37 minutes.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Gar

DSC00142
I have zipped down to Bath this weekend to visit my grandmother. She is a remarkably robust character for a woman just a week over 97 years old. Although she sometimes cant remember quite why she stood up and walked across the room (it was to get a vase for some flowers), she has a good recall of most of the last century.
Conversation is a little odd as you can never be quite sure that she has heard you unless you really shout. She still has a most of her own teeth and can whup pretty nearly anyone at scrabble if she can concentrate for long enough.
It is best to visit her in the morning as she sleeps a lot more in the afternoon and she still like to be taken out for a meal, especially a chinese where her favourite is chicken and sweetcorn soup followed by chicken and cashew nuts.
We used to joke about her hundredth birthday but you know...the way she is going she may just make it.
All my grandparents have lived in to thier nineties. I wonder if I will be as good as she is should I ever get there.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Old Rope

Newyear0002
I had imagined that there would be a stunning new year photo here of candles all over a frozen pond taken as the new year changed. Well I am still working on that one. The slightest breeze blows the little buggers out.
Instead I give you a sculpture made out of beach junk.
I wish I could claim the credit myself but this one was made and is maintained by Danielle.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Happy Christmas To Everyone


I was out taking photos of M42 (no no not the blooming motorway, the nebula in Orion!) when I noticed a structure that as far as I know has gone unreported so far.
I was thinking of calling it the Ho ho nebula.....
I present it here for some of my younger readers.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Twunt

Somewhere down below the seventh circle of hell there is a special spot with a name on it. A name I know not in its entirety but the little badge behind which the shiny happy face smiled out at me proclaimed that in began with ….. ah but care ….if he reads this he may go into a religious order and atone. I wouldn’t want him to get away with it.
You see my phone was playing up. I took it along to the smiley happy phone shop assuming that the children that worked there might have some crumb to offer that would have escaped some duffer like me.
After a slight pause for tooth sucking as he had seldom seen such a model as mine outside a museum the scamp pronounced that he would back up my phone, and give me a new memory card which we could unload everything on to and it would then be as right as ever such an antique could be at the cutting edge of the end of the noughties.
He then proceeded to loose my phone contacts.
I didn’t hit him.
Now I am not such a fool that I cant see this sort of thing coming entirely. I do back my phone up to the interwebby thing from time to time. The trouble was that he lost the settings for this as well.
I didn’t hit him.
I am now trying to download a csv file that I can blue tooth to a second pooter and then restore via outlook excressence.
So if you havent heard from me before Christmas......
I may have to go back and hit him.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Yet More Dark Arts

Dec_6_20080007
The pairing of Venus and Jupiter in the sky to the west just before sunset has been too good to miss out on. I have been snapping away after dark again.
At the risk of making Trixie even more envious this is just down the road from where I live.
But hey anyone that reads this is welcome to come and see for themselves. There is always a free bed on Hallett's mountain.

Monday, December 01, 2008

More Dark Arts



Now I don’t want you to think that the words are not so important but this is a time of year when I do a lot of looking up and around the sky for a picture.
I noticed this one begging to be taken a few nights ago and hoped it might work. Its not right yet I know. Nevertheless I hope I can give you a flavour of the chase.
There is a photographer working down on the Isle of Purbeck whose combination of landscape and astronomy I have admired for some time (I see he has stopped selling them though, a pity).
I have long felt that there ought to be a chance or two round North Wales to recreate in a modest way some of the drama he seems to extract from the sky.
I sort of imagined that it might be easy to get a suitably dramatic picture of the moon against Snowdon… .
The thing is though you need a lot of time, luck and specialist knowledge to get this sort of thing right and so in over a year of trying seriously I have really only managed a handful of pictures that measure up to scrutiny. Getting the angles right and knowing when they will occur is part of it. Making sure that the light is right, hah, there is a quarter of an hour every day when you can take this picture. Dodging the traffic and the clouds. Making sure your fingers aren’t so numb that you can’t work the buttons in the dark. It all makes for a little bit of a challenge. A certain stoicism is needed to say the least.
I noticed this close pairing of Jupiter and Venus last week as I was driving home from work. On Friday I lugged the camera and tripod to a suitable spot along the Conwy estuary, tied the dog to a post and set to. The sky was clear as a glass of water and the light was just right. The two planets seemed to hang in just the right spot and were polished to perfection. Inevitably the bitter cold made a small plastic part of the tripod quite brittle and it snapped between my fumbling fingers. Then as quick as you like the battery on my camera announced that it needed changing after one wobbly shot. Bugger.
I went back better equipped to the same spot on Sunday and got several shots, one of which you see above but the cloud in the picture muddled it a little. It was only later that I noticed the thin crescent moon just over the right end of the castle had snuck out of the cloud for a moment. There may be a couple more nights to try this one but its gone cloudy again tonight so this is probably the best I will get. Until the next time.
(I stuck a couple of full size ones in the flikr gadget if you fancy)

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Mists

Mist in the valley in the early morning

Mist over the valley at night

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Snowday



I know I may have mentioned it before but North Wales is one of the corners that the great Moo Moo has favoured.
No large carnivores, nothing very poisonous in the flora or the fauna ( with the possible exception of a couple of mushrooms). A climate that is beneficially regulated by the thermal inertia of the sea. And spectacular scenery.
I forced the Hallett butt down to a cold kitchen early this morning and sorted out some sandwiches, coffee and some mountain gear. Asbo and I set of half an hour later and by nine o’clock we had parked up, tooled up and were off on the path to Marchlyn Mawr and then onwards to an old mountain favourite. Elidir Fawr is in a slightly less fashionable corner of the national park but the views from the top are spectacular. In fact I think it is the only summit from which you can see all the other mountains in Snowdonia, well all the ones over 3000 ft (I apologise for not using metres but somehow the figure holds less appeal).
Anyway when I got to the top the views were second to none.
Have a look here
Tomorrow I shall go and sunbathe on the beach.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Heroes



There is always a sense of trepidation when you see one of your heroes.
In the same way that going back to places you used to live irons out some of the gold from the memory. I remember seeing The Who perform live many years ago and being incredibly let down by how I felt at their performance.
From the moment Leonard Cohen bounded on to the stage ( I don’t exaggerate) I knew that I needn’t have worried at all. From the opening chord, to the long goodbye he blew me away. Old standards were invested with new meanings. Notes and phrases that were learned years ago were folded and painted into something both familiar yet fresh for the first time.
He held our hearts and fears in his word and drew tears of love from deep within.
Incredibly self aware and adjusted he spared us nothing. I have never seen such a spellbinding performance.
If you ever get the chance…ah but you know all that I am sure.

“The last time I stood on this stage was fourteen years ago. I was sixty years old, just a kid with a crazy dream”

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

In My Secret Life

I have but a moment, the policy that isn’t going to write itself is glaring,full of bale, from the sofa. Well its guidleines are anyway.
But you see, this weekend I have a ticket to see Leonard Cohen in concert at the NEC.
Whoop!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Greek Gift

I only nipped in to get a postcard I swear. I guess that from then on a number of circumstances, circumstances which I am sure dear reader, you will agree leave me entirely exonerated of any possible complicity ( that’s a posh version of ‘its not my fault’, did you like it?).
You see it’s partly about the end of the tourist season. There I was, on the last stage out of Dodge visiting a shop in a little village high up in the Cretan mountains. Several scuttling black clad ladies had reported my progress in towards the town square. By the time I parked my pushbike beside the shop, Alexandros had the hopes and fears of at least three living generations and a goat resting upon his shoulders, as well as Zeus knows how many that had crossed the Styx. And here I was threatening to part with a mere thirty cents. Quite a lot of national pride was involved.
After a negotiation the nature of which I still feel slightly confused about I departed with two bottles. One containing something that his grandfather put together from a secret recipe involving herbs and lots of alcohol. This I vaguely understand to be unobtainable outside the village, there may even have been false versions circulating in inferior shops and bars lower down the street. A sure winner to go with the Christmas dinner. A snip at merely 15 Euros.
The second bottle was thrown, no it wasn’t actually, was lowered gently to my basket as a gift to say thank you for handing over such a ridiculous sum for something unlabelled, unlikely to go through customs scrutiny, and probably poisonous. The second bottle, filled with a strange clea liquid that moved like a viscous oil, was complicitly described as lion’s milk. A form of mountain Raki.
“Very good for the …..”, and here he made a forearm gesture. The shocked look on the face of a passing nun left little doubt as what he felt it might be good for, as events panned out I am sure she need have had no worries.
Well I completed my ride to the Lasithi Plateau and after that it was all downhill ( theres a joke there which I am sure you will all struggle to winkle out…).
The next morning a demon slipped the bottle of Raki in to my daysack and I took the boat to Spinalonga. I had no intention of drinking it you see but…… If the guy serving the orange juice hadn’t had so much spare ice I might have got away with it. If She Of The Townhouse hadn’t been such a wimp and drunk her fair share I might have got away with it. If the day hadn’t been so hot and the shade so inviting I might not have been tempted.
It was everyone else’s fault. I am sure you can see.
I came round several hours later with a raging thirst beside a clear empty bottle, completely unable to explain how I had managed to lose a large chunk of the day and my shorts.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Customary Practice


“And did you pack the bag yourself sir?”

Suddenly I feel like a rabbit caught in the headlights. While the expression on my face betrays not a flicker of the inner turmoil; I suddenly see my fall from grace flashing before my inner eye. What to say.
Would it be foolish to say that on spotting that my toothbrush and surplus undercrackers were well below the weight limit, She Of The Town House had decided to redistribute. Using me as the mule to carry her spare hair straighteners and various packages whose content still eludes me even though we are now back a day.
“You have to be joking mate I haven’t a clue what she put in there.”
“ You look like a man of the world sergeant, she wouldn’t let me near the thing while she was packing.”
Both these reasonable appeals to a potential fellow cross my mind briefly but then…. then I remember that tale that Huw told of how similar jokiness on his way to the foreign led to an extremely unpleasant incident. The one where he was escorted to a darkened room by a man with large latex encased fingers, a man who proceeded to demonstrate a glove puppet routine. I remember how poor old Huw’s eyes watered even at the retelling some years later and how he went off his beer for the rest of the evening.

“Yes I packed it myself”

Later on as my bicycle puncture repair kit sets off the hand luggage scanner I wonder what they might mistakenly make of the pump that I left in the main bag.
(photo above)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I Cant Stay Long.....

Well you know what they say!
It isn’t until you go away on holiday together that you know what its all about.
She Of The Townhouse and I are in Crete at present. Suffice it to say that this is proving quite an eye opener. And not a day too soon I can tell you.
I am limited to how much may reveal here as the interweb thingy is rated at 4 euros an hour but let me tell you folks………

Monday, October 13, 2008

Burgered Up


Me and my big mouth! You would think that after last time I would have learnt a lesson wouldn’t you but no….
It seems that She Of The Town House may have got wind of my last post you see. Well better that than down wind of it but anyway. While The Boy and I were out grinding corn she decided to make an extra special effort and rustle up a surprise for tea.
So she dug up a few spuds and put them on to boil.
After that she got distracted and wandered off up to see a friend, came back an hour or so later to find the Townhouse full of steam.
Then she toasted some burger buns.
Later she prised them out of the toaster and cut the burnt bits off, she avoided electrical accidents by using a plastic spatula. This made the house smell a bit funny but this was later masked by the smell of what came next so it didn’t really matter.
She found some delicious and succulent buffalo burgers yesterday and figured they would be a real treat.
Placing them on ‘high’ she then nipped off to check her e-mail……you can see where this is going cant you…..
I think that a long story ought to be cut short here as I have to make it up to the chip shop in a mo.
When it was all banged down on a plate in front of us I could tell that our reaction was important and that saying the wrong thing might cause upset.
Eventually the boy and I came up with this.

“Darling, I just cant tell you how good that was”.

Tomorrow, dear reader, I am coming round to your house for tea.