Monday, November 03, 2008

Customary Practice


“And did you pack the bag yourself sir?”

Suddenly I feel like a rabbit caught in the headlights. While the expression on my face betrays not a flicker of the inner turmoil; I suddenly see my fall from grace flashing before my inner eye. What to say.
Would it be foolish to say that on spotting that my toothbrush and surplus undercrackers were well below the weight limit, She Of The Town House had decided to redistribute. Using me as the mule to carry her spare hair straighteners and various packages whose content still eludes me even though we are now back a day.
“You have to be joking mate I haven’t a clue what she put in there.”
“ You look like a man of the world sergeant, she wouldn’t let me near the thing while she was packing.”
Both these reasonable appeals to a potential fellow cross my mind briefly but then…. then I remember that tale that Huw told of how similar jokiness on his way to the foreign led to an extremely unpleasant incident. The one where he was escorted to a darkened room by a man with large latex encased fingers, a man who proceeded to demonstrate a glove puppet routine. I remember how poor old Huw’s eyes watered even at the retelling some years later and how he went off his beer for the rest of the evening.

“Yes I packed it myself”

Later on as my bicycle puncture repair kit sets off the hand luggage scanner I wonder what they might mistakenly make of the pump that I left in the main bag.
(photo above)

7 comments:

headless chicken said...

Blimey Meredic, with your dodgy dark mysterious appearance and that even more dodgy looking instrument in your bag you were lucky to escape further investigation with the dreaded latex encased fingers!!!:)

headless chicken said...

Nice holiday by the way? Now I'm even more grumpy about drizzly old England!

Sally said...

My heart was in my mouth then. I though for a moment that you made those comments.... and then breathed out with a sigh of relief!

Glad you're back safe and sound. hope you ahd a good time.

john.g. said...

My eyes are watering!

Trixie said...

Hence why I don't travel with my vibrator!

startare said...

When I think that in the good old days, leaving a box of tampons on top in your bag was enough to discourage customs people from looking further. It would take more to embarrass them today.

meredic said...

headless chicken - I may have to ask you to expand on 'dodgy dark mysterious......'
The holiday was just the ray of sunshine that we all missed in the summer.

Sally - well I am glad you breathed out.

john.g - we were all there with you mate. He still gets nervous when he sees a man in uniform...

trixie - hmm. Well I suppose you can keep one in every port...

startare - you hark back to a more innocent age....