Thursday, April 03, 2008

Silent Spring


Phrases like “Eat unleaden death tree hugging scum” would never escape from the back of the Hallett cortex save in spring. The season when any mans fancy turns to his lawn. And this year I have decided to do my best to offset the efforts of all those do gooder carbon offsetting bods by buying a petrol lawnmower.
After years of pushing an electric hover around my acre I have finally succumbed. I even toyed briefly with the notion of one that you could ride on but soon realised that I could have ten cheaper mowers for the same price.
So there you go. After a few minutes mocking the safety instruction (long trousers! I don’t think so!!) I put a selection of Steppenwolf and Springsteen into my i(maginary)pod. Casually flicked out the aviators and went for a blast round the nooks and crannies.
Wonderful.
To think, I could have had an attachment for stripes as well but you know….its possible to overdo these things.
Later I discovered that fifty conkers that I collected last back end and put in pots have all germinated. I hope this isn’t going to offset the offset offset, if you see what I mean.

5 comments:

Vi said...

I'd never even SAW an electric mower till I moved to this country. Petrol mowers is the most popular in oz!

sablonneuse said...

Groan - you've just made me think about the coming battle with lawnmower (to get it started) and the molehills (to be flattened) as soon as it stops raining long enough

bittersweet said...

your boots .. posing in position .. that made me laugh.

Fi said...

Thankyou for reminding me I need to start mowing the lawn this weekend, you've ruined my day. The rest of the post made me smile though so thats an ofset of sorts...

startare said...

Just this morning I realized something would be have to be done about the green stuff that grows haphazardly at the back of the house (it is not called a lawn). You are one brave man!