Monday, May 21, 2007

Road Rage Drama On Halletts Mountain


While not a regular god botherer I suspect I visit church more often than most. I hold the key to the one on Halletts Mountain you see. Well it hangs up on the hooks in my house. Its about four fields away from here.


Or if you prefer the drive up from The Old Walled Town its about four miles.
The drive is full of pitfalls. That is to say, if you aren’t sure of the lie of the land it is pretty easy to fall in to a pit. The best one I saw was Gaffo’s father. Rumours of a ‘Grand Spectacle’ brought us all out to see him lying drunk beside his land rover. The landrover was almost upside down in the ditch. He still denies all, but he must have wondered how he got home and where the dents came from. Halletts Mountain is a bit of a vehicle eater.
Yesterdays congregation was smaller than usual. The new vicar decided to press on. Halfway through the first hymn that nobody knew the tune to, a woman came breathless to the door.
"They’re on the way," she gasped. An image of the closing sequence of The Field Of Dreams.
It seems that six cars coming up met Mrs Hewitt going down. A seemingly unequal balance unless you have seen Mrs H trying to reverse. It’s her back you see. The faith of six cars full of the faithful was misplaced. She really wasn’t going to make it. She made a brave attempt mind you. But eventually the clutch on her car melted. Halfway up the narrowest and steepest part of the hill. For all I know they may have helicoptered it off.
After a couple more hymns that nobody knew the tune to we all went back home.
I was the only one that walked. I was the only one that went uphill.

7 comments:

Sally Lomax said...

Good job you were walking! Now call me old fashioned, but as and when I do go to Church, I do like a nice hymn that I can recognise and have a good sing along to.

me said...

quite charming :)

DaveM said...

Does the church have one of those old pedal type harmoniums that creaks and moans when played? I once went to a funeral which was held in a remote chapel miles from anywhere and they had one there. It was a strange, almost unreal experience and for some reason I felt like an extra on a film set.

DaveM said...

Just remembered you have a Dawes. I have virtually rebuilt mine and am looking forward to getting out on it.

Ariel said...

Your corner of the world sounds like heaven...

headless chicken said...

Old Churches set in the countryside are often so beautiful and I have felt calm and serene on the few occasions that I have visited some of them.
Being a 'non-believer' the calm and serenity is mixed with slight anxiety that I may be struck by a falling roof-slate on my way out. Strange that I should have that worry.....must be a little bit of 'what if' in there somewhere!

meredic said...

Sally - I mourn the loss of 'Onward Christian Soldiers' and 'Jerusalem' from school assemblies. Its all happy clappy nonsense now!

me - There I am aiming for 'tall dark and handsome' and I shoot myself in the foot with a 'charming'.

Davem - I recognise your organ! It sounds like you have been here. And yes I still have my trusty Dawes. I really should get out on it more.

ariel - visitors are always welcome on Hallett's Mountain. And it is a bit good.

Headless Chicken - I have no religious convictions myself, beyond a faith that the great Moo Moo will one day come for the chosen of course.
The view of the church in this post is taken from my house looking down the fields. Indeed it is a very beautiful and peacefull spot.