Thursday, January 24, 2008

Sock It To Me


When She Of The Townhouse gave me socks for Christmas, I sensed that a certain stage had been reached in our relationship. Nevertheless I persevere.....
The footwear in question had a higher purpose. Over the weeks since the festive season, things have been complicated. You see the socks in question were labelled with the days of the week. At first I thought that this would be easy. If the day was Monday then you fished out the socks with Monday written on them, wore them for a day and then bunged them in the wash. And the next day you picked up Tuesday, the day being a sock related update of the previous one. So on and so on. I am sure that even a child could get the hang of it, and for someone as shamefully over certificated as yours truly, well surely such a concept is child’s play.
Is it bugger!
Within mere days the socks had performed a shuffle reminiscent of the pea under one of three thimbles. By the end of the first week I was finding it hard to remember what millennium we were in and I just couldn’t match the socks to the days no matter how much sweat or intellect I expended.
And (lap it up Miss Beckwith) then the great Moo Moo stepped in. I was getting ready for work last Monday and my personal deity revealed one of the wrinkles in the universe that comes every now and then to a Newton, an Einstien, or a Hawking. There I was, desperate to fit the socks to the day and all the time I was starting out wrong footed.
I picked up the nearest pair and in a flash realised that, in accordance with their legend, it would be so much better if it was Saturday again.
From now on it’s the socks that will determine the day and not the other way round.
Some of them are going to be recycled a lot more quickly of course.

Miss Beckwith? She was the Venus who taught me English when I was eleven. Never let me begin sentences with ‘and’.

14 comments:

john.g. said...

And, anyway, that was funny!!

Redbeard76 said...

What if you put socks with different days on your feet? Does this bugger up the space-time continuum?

It could be like you have little Tardises on your feet, and the rift opens up. All of mankind is doomed! Daleks come flying in from everywhere.

Apparently, I watch too much Doctor Who.

What of the socks that disappear?

Some say they go to Sock Heaven.

bittersweet me said...

Brilliant.

We had bibs and vests labelled for the same purposes. But babies spit up ALL DAY .. it was never to be.

Vi said...

I'd wanna wear the Sunday ones EVERYDAY! Stop monday from coming around.

buffalodickdy said...

People laugh when I tell them I only have two colors of sox- black or white.

Lori said...

Ha ha! You come up with the funniest observations. I like the comment of redbeard...maybe you should start wearing different days on each foot.

startare said...

Start getting worried when she gives you socks with your name on them.

Mike said...

Do they do Sunday?

Mike

HeulynValaVika said...

If they affect the space-time continuum, don't overwear them - we don't want big holes in space or time!

Fi said...

That made me laugh :)

Thanks for sharing your rat issues with me; I sometimes wonder if we (husband and I,that is) are the only people I know who deal with these things on a daily basis. but apparently not. Ours get to be a foot long. Hmmm.

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

my ex used to be incredibly anal about his days of the week socks - would never mix it up wid da hood ting. used to wear them out until they were all holey. Disgusting. I nicked one of them once and he was so upset he went out and bought a new set. I thought I had secured sock drawer victory, but he took the new one out, and wore it with the old sock. "The other one is still good for a few more months".

Scouser.

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

ps... HOME MADE KEY LIME PIE????

WHY DID I NOT READ MY BLOG EARLIER?

darnit

sablonneuse said...

No pair of socks remains intact for long in our house.I'm sure the washing machine tears them to shreds and disposes of them in the filter. (That's why I've had to buy a new one) In other words you'll soon have difficulty finding two socks with the same day marked on them. Are they all the same colour by the way?

Sophie said...

Just as long as they don't have "left" and "right" on them. That IS an embarrassing present to receive ...!