Sunday, March 02, 2008

Breaking News From Aisle 13

As I deliberately go in the reverse direction around my usual supermarket (it confuses the shopping psychologists) I notice that there is a good deal more stress than is usually apparent.
Men who I don’t seem to have seen before are out in droves. Several of them have already crossed my path. I even took pity on one and showed him where there were tubes of garlic paste (garlic paste…how lazy can people get…).
I noted that many of them were being followed by gaggles of children. Some clearly unused to walking when there was a trolley and all of them increasingly annoyed in proportion to their age. Young ones just a little bewildered, teenagers under a cloud so black that rain looked imminent.
Every now and then these exasperated male partners would stop and reach for the inexperienced shoppers lifeline. The Mobile phone.
“…oh yeah. Um where’s the garlic paste…?”
“Right well why on earth do they stick it there? It isn’t anything like Tomatoes…”
“Oww”
“No she hit my ankle with the trolley!”
“No actually they are being little sods….”
“Don’t forget to record the football.”
“I haven’t got a bloody clue…. tomorrow at this rate…”
…and so on.
All over the store similar scenes are being played out.

The reason dear reader? Well of course its mothers day. Someone somewhere has had her weekly routine whacked quite out of kilter by a poor sop who polishes the virtue of ‘helping’. Little regard I suspect that for the fact that minor omissions from the weekly shop will have to be overcome for the next seven days, and the kids will be sullen for days. One can only hope that the poor woman has been given some flowers.

Then, just as I sweep in to Aisle 13, I notice the latest 'Buy one at twice the price and we will pretend you get a free one’ offer. This week they are having a special on condoms.

I saw the poor saps struggling with the packing and impulse blackmail. If only you had thought about them earlier eh fellows?

6 comments:

buffalodickdy said...

Mothers' Day here is in May, and it's just fun to watch a horde of bewildered males picking out a card!

DaveM said...

I left the kids do their stuff for the weekend and went cycling in the Cotswolds. Fantastic.

sablonneuse said...

Yesterday was Grandmothers' Day in France but my son and daughter gave me some flowers as a token gesture and will celebrate the French Fete de Meres later (May I think). For a few years I benefitted from the confusion and had two days of spoiling but they've got wise to it now.
By the way, my son is far better at packing shopping than I am. He takes charge when we go to the supermarket; just takes me along to pay the bill!

Vi said...

Did the supermarket get mothers day confused with Valentines day?

Jayne said...

Hehe, the day before Mother's Day, I just saw loads of people panic buying flowers. It amused me, but then again I am easily amused.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Ha...buy one at the twice the price...hehehe, so true.

Funny.