Sunday, April 11, 2010

Something Nasty In The Woodshed Fridge



I am amazed by the amount that can be forced down a plug hole. Determination, the aid of barbecue skewer, and soon the bodies will be gone without trace.
Hallett’s Mountain is being spruced up you see. And for the second time in a fortnight no less.
Its all about visitors again. While I toil at the chalk face next week, my friend Grayson will be enjoying the frugal comforts of my humble abode. Along with Gadgetgirlie and The Captains Mate, her daughter and mother respectively.
Can you imagine, three generations of women aiming to run their fingers along the Hallett dado rail looking for dust. Good job I haven’t got any dados that’s all I can say.
I have though got a fridge. A fridge whose darkest crevices have lain dormant… nah, dormant is wrong, dormant suggests that nothing is happening… The crevices in which the things that live in the fridge accumulate, breed and fester. Crevices that have not had a great deal of attention since Mike and Mrs Mike came by last, have been exposed to daylight.
If you look at old episodes of Star Trek….oooh hey incidentally have you had time to catch up with the new digitally re-mastered original series yet….umm where was I.
Ah yes …Star Trek.. the cutting edge of low budget special effects aliens from the sixties often had some coloured latex that was being quivered by a man out of shot with a stick. This posed as ‘life Jim but not as we know it’ and was either erased by setting the phaser on ‘turn to plasma’ or was welcomed as a new facet of the all embracing federation. It all seemed to depend on how misunderstood it was.
Eh? Pardon? Oh yes, the point.
The thing is that these aliens live in my fridge and occasionally need evicting. People are kind but sometimes you sense that they may just be humouring me.
Anyway, I cant stay long. I now have to gird my loins for the stirring of the midden that The Boy inhabits. That is going on to a whole new level……

(I am comforted to see that the Microsoft dictionary has no concept of midden.)

3 comments:

Vi said...

those scraps actually look yummy lol!

HeulynValaVika said...

When I come home to visit, I will definately have to come up to Hallett's Mountain.
Just to remind me how beautiful it really is.
x

The Blonde said...

.......The apple sauce was growing black & white spots, otherwise it looked quite tasty.