Saturday, July 05, 2008

Cabin Fever

When She Of The Townhouse gets an idea in to her head you had better not stand in the way. All week long I have been suffering from a repetitive strain injury in my right arm.
Ok who sniggered! Don’t jump to mucky conclusions.
The thing is, she has decided that under the trees in the field need an erection.
Right that’s it!
Leave the room if you can’t be sensible. It’s just a word.

Unlike a right thinking and rational being though she has elected to place the aforementioned slap bang in the middle of a swampy patch. Under a tree.
As well as my own lack of firmness.....
Oh look for goodness sake, if you are going to misinterpret everything I say I shall just stop.
...As well as my own lack of demure, I place some of the blame on my little sister. If she hadn’t built a landing stage and a fire pit by the river then I feel sure that the whole shed in a swampy tree thing might have been held in check for a while.
As it is, I have been banging fence posts all weekend (I give in, titter away) and next we are on to the decking.
If she rings you asking for scaffolding planks please say no……


Sparkle Plenty said...

I like the way She Of The Townhouse thinks!
1) You should build She of The Townhouse a Swiss Family Robinson-style treehouse!
2) Or how about a pagoda?
3) Or a gazebo?
4) Or a gypsy wagon with flowerboxes?
5) No! It should be a teahouse with a pagoda with an attached gazebo and gypsy wagon! And some little arched bridges over the swampy patch with japanese lanterns strewn hither and yon! (Perhaps with citronella cannily concealed inside if mosquitos are an issue there.)
6) And a landing stage (for very tiny swampy patch craft--if any) and a fire pit, because I like the way your little sister thinks, too.

P.S. Packages of frozen vegetables make excellent ice packs.

john.g. said...

If you have trees "under the field", does that make them Bog Oaks?

startare said...

As usual, Google ads make a lot of sense: this time it was for Maple Tree Beds; I didn't click to check if the bed was in the tree or made out of it.
As you make your bed, they say....

meredic said...

sparkle plenty - ideas 1 to 3 have already been run up the flagpole. If she reads 4 or 5 I shall be round your house with a sternly draughted note from my legal team.

john - I have corrected it now, cheers, and I apologise to all who read and this confused.

sartare - I worry about the nimber of ads I seem to generate for refugee brides. It's not like I visit the sites.....often.....

Anonymous said...

Re suggestion no 5):

Just to update, I have calculated that we shall have enough offcuts of scaffolding poles and boards to construct a bridge over the boggy bits, so worry not...! Windchimes are already installed, lanterns and citronella sticks are stashed under the platform ready for use. The gazebo is hiding in the barn, plastic sheeting and other stuff for making a roof await attention....

Have also devised a "fridge" which consists of a Tesco carrierbag and a long length of good old Baler twine. The bag is thrown into the pond and hauled in when the need for a cool beer arises.

Have also discovered that scaffolding poles make a lovely sound when they hit each other.Hm.

All in all, a good weekend!


sablonneuse said...

What you need is an erection supervisor. No, seriously, I have seen vans going round with that written on the side.

Trixie said...

You better start usuing your left hand so you don't look weird with muscles on one side!

Anonymous said...