Thursday, May 22, 2008


I am , dear reader, a worried man. The hole in the centre of the universe had been busy again. Recently it has developed a completely inexplicable appetite for my skiddies (col, male undergarment).
Hallett’s Mountain is now down to a rotation of the final two pairs in my possession. That’s one pair that I am wearing and one pair being washed and dried out! A mere eight days worth [( forward, backward, inside out forward, inside out backward) X 2]. And that precludes accidents! If I am run over by a bus then there is going to be a wailing and a gnashing of teeth, especially from concerned female companions.
I swear that last Christmas I had at least ten pairs. So where on earth have they all gone.
I have checked several of the seamier internet sites that sell second hand underwear. Had my eyes opened to sights no man should ever have to contemplate. Yet despite extensive research and following of even the most tenuous links I can find nothing resembling my own.
A couple of days ago I tackled She Of The Townhouse on the matter. I mean I know women can be funny about personal items of sentimental value and perhaps she has been taking them away with her to hotels and stuff….I even considered liberating a pair of hers in return, though God only knows what they are expected to cover. I have seen string with more body that some of her efforts.
When threatened, the only thing she had to offer was that perhaps The Boy had been caught short again and maybe I could look in his room. Well there is no way I am going there.
So. Commando until my birthday it seems. Oh pants!


buffalodickdy said...

The disposables are so damn uncomortable, so don't even think about it...

Vi said...

But then... if you go commando... you're gonna have to wash your jeans more often!!!!

Freaking get your bare arse down to M&S you cheapstake!

Ro said...

I used to have the same problem with a washing machine that ate socks. The problem changed when I changed the washing machine.

In retrospect it might have been cheaper to have simply kept up a good supply of new socks.

startare said...

I could knit you some. What size?

meredic said...

Buffalodickdy - it seems that almost all of mine have been disposed of no matter how comfy they were.

vi - I'm sorry? What on earth would persuade me to wash them more often...... :-)

ro - nice to hear from you. Now then. When you got rid of that machine were did you send it?

startare - the only possible answer is of course 'large' . And while I respect the generosity of your offer I have a nagging doubt about knitted underwear.

sablonneuse said...

Are you so far away from civilisation that there are no shops where you can buy pants? How about mail order then? Or:
I remember a kind of chain letter some years ago when you were supposed to send a pair of (new) M&S knickers to the last person on the list. A girl at my school joined in and got about 12 pairs eventually. You could try setting up something like that (for men of course!)

Anonymous said...

i've noticed that pants are seasonal. perhaps it's connected to the weather? i predict that the mysterious pants famine will be followed by a similarly unaccountable pants glut.